some lovin for your ear April 23, 2008

i realize i haven’t written in a while. and as always when i don’t have much to say…or am too lazy to write, rather (which is…often), i try to leave some favorite music on here. maybe a little later i’ll give some descriptions on these artists. it’s all pretty much soul-esque stuff. surprise :D

i love my life - l’renee

older days - mia zuniga

stories such as these - mia zuniga

grow - zaki ibrahim

daylight - zaki ibrahim

amorous - jesse boykins iii

free your mind - jesse boykins iii

sobriety ft. jade foster - jesse boykins iii

twice - little dragon

no love - little dragon

everybody loves the sunshine - incognito

call me - n’dambi

weary / amel larrieux April 1, 2008

yeah. basically.

i never learned to play April 1, 2008

I never learned to play
But I hear the sounds
Of butterflies singing
Their malevolent songs
Lead-heavy drones
Sorrowful weary moans
The ecstasy of a pregnant loss found

this was a collective piece, by: amutabi, seher, erica, starr, antoinette, brandon, and sean. we passed around the piece of paper for everyone to write one line - the writer was only allowed to see the one line directly preceding theirs.

it was a beautiful night…even though i passed out for the second half of it ;)

will: an alternative to ‘the dark place’ March 28, 2008

my sensitivities have gotten the best of me of late. i’ve found myself in a situation that makes me feel sad, upset, hurt, stupid, rash, helpless, hopeless, foolish, furious, distrusting, confused, weak, tired, among other things.

perhaps i haven’t handled things properly. perhaps i’ve done everything i could have. and perhaps things have turned just how they are meant to be. i’ve been fighting with myself today, between turning into an emotional wreckball of agony and becoming recluse, or challenging myself to be the better self i’ve always needed to be in these situations.

as simple as the advice is to love yourself, to not take things too deep, to keep it moving…we all know it’s more complex. a slow process of internalizing. i asked a friend yesterday what my ail is - why am i stressing things so hard and how the fuck can i chill out? she told me to look at my own insecurities. she told me to get past them, because much of what i question is simply based in my insecurity. if i am firm in myself, what i know, who i am, what i want, and what i stand for…nothing can faze me. a process it is.

listening to this song and writing out the words reminded me of my desire to stay strong and keep will. to persist. in greatness, in wholeness. in happiness and acceptance of what is and how it is.

a song of will / eddie gale

a song of will
will to be, will to know, will to do
will to see
a song of will
a song for you

a song of will
will to be strong
will to live long
will to be right or wrong
a song for those who try

when things get rough and they can’t take it
keep on fighting and try to make it
never let any one feat break it
a song for those who try
a song for we who must do or die

a song of will
will to be, will to know, will to do
will to see
a song of will
a song

the walls / rogiers March 22, 2008

contentment. March 18, 2008

the irresistible smile of an infant
a mother’s love
the crisp breeze whisking past,
momentarily resting on my cheeks
my favorite melodies on a quiet evening
or morning
morning.
in-bed-marathon-tv-drama-netflix-watching on my shiny semi-new macbook
being still amidst the loud city streets
his hand in my hair, timidly stroking
a stool for one at the counter of my favorite creperie
my brother’s earnestness in wanting to be his best self
the gleam in my father’s eyes every time he sees me
my own, beautiful, ever-so-cozy apartment
remembering to bring a book on the J
red velvet cupcake breaks
sparkling non-alcoholic anything
reciting my lines to myself while walking to rehearsal down market street
sisterhood.
knowledge and wisdom: the strength to use it and the will to spread it
de-stranging the estranged
instant connections, random conversations,
and meeting people on the street
old friends and new smiles
weekend brunches on sunny days
little kisses at dawn, edging me to consciousness
while blending into dream-state
being missed
loving.
hoping.
trying.
having an idea
inspiring others
witnessing the ambitious, accomplished, and humble - mutually inclusive
taking the time to write one of my trillion thoughts down
recalling the whyiloveyou project and knowing it’ll happen exactly when it’s supposed to
laughter.
presence in the moment
so much warmth that tears well up, unseen
so much welling that it presses against your throat
as if you might erupt

head in the clouds March 14, 2008

my two daydream assistants today :)

lovin you / jazmine sullivan

for making me feel so happy, but i
make this promise to love you, to love you

lovin you, just lovin you
to love, to love, to love, to lovin you
lovin you, just lovin you
to love, to love, to love

all the time you’re always on mind
you’re like gift from God
so glad that you are mine
you’re like a friend on a lonely day
make me feel that everything’s okay
you’re like the breeze on a summer’s night
like an island when only water’s in sight
and for making me feel this way, oh
i promise to love you, love you, love you, always

lovin you, just lovin you (i love you)
to love, to love, to love, to lovin you
lovin you, just lovin you
to love, to love, to love, to lovin you

lovin you, just lovin you
to love, to love, to love, to lovin you
lovin you, just lovin you (i will always love you)
to love, to love, to love, to lovin you (i promise to love you, baby)

oh. oh, baby
baby, i love you
oh, you don’t understand how much i love you, baby, oh
you’re like a gift from God, baby, oh
so glad that you’re mine, oh
oh, i love you
said i need you, baby i

lovin you, just lovin you (hey, i will love)
to love, to love, to love, to lovin you
lovin you, just lovin you
to love, to love, to love, to lovin you

skyy, can u feel me / raphael saadiq

go! / d, d, and d (dennis, duane, and dre) March 12, 2008

apparently the masterpiece is a product of putting your macbook reaaaally close to a huge ass speaker while effing around in rehearsal :D. behold: my lovely friend dennis and the homies. ill shit.

text message maniac March 11, 2008

$50 over on my cell phone bill this month.  why? text messages.  i have 1500, and i went 1500 over.  750 of them to/from one person.  christ.

what-ever :D

online dating and childhood loves March 11, 2008

one of my lovers has left me for eastern europe. and as i lament to her about the love interest a coast away and what sometimes feels like online dating, she first hates on me…then proceeds to tell me that maybe it ain’t so bad.

UNDISCLOSED BOSNIAN RECOUNTS LOVE LOST:

the old bf was sendig me all these loves msgs
but that love has long gone
so I told him
I feel better about that now

I did not want to give him a wrong impression
however!
this guy that I used to like when I was like 5
hahahahhahaha
jajajjajaja
came back to town
my first love
jajajja

I think I am just going more crazy but who gives a crap
HE IS CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
and smart

it is just a metter of getting it all together
I know
he lives right across from my bulding
so his balcony looks over mine
so I go out and he comes out and then he laughs
that is how I see him
dammit he does not seem to go out
what the hell am I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT?
I mean he might as well live in DC or NYC no?
I am telling you online dating hahahaha

ummmm. so like, can i have the love of my life live a balcony across from me so i can stalk him? please and thank you. talk about the movies.